I recently read an interesting book. I won't bore you with the details of the plot, but it gave me something to think about. It gave me the understanding that I appear to labour under the illusion that the world owes me something. Apparently, that's just a delusion, which forms part of my depressed state of mind.
The book explains that the world is neither good nor bad. It just is. The concepts of "pay it forward" and karma are just social constraints used to ensure that we do not stray too far from the path of socially acceptable behaviour. For those of us who "do the right thing" and sacrifice our wants and their needs "for the greater good" won't always be rewarded. The fact that we are "rewarded" at all is just a coincidence. A whim of the universe. It certainly isn't an assured outcome based on the purity of our actions.
I still don't totally comprehend the impact of this realisation. I was always a firm believer in living towards an ideal, to be the best person I could, to treat people with respect and to minimise the negative impact of my actions.
So what, now? How am I supposed to assimilate this "new" world into my perceptions?
For awhile, I used the mantra "It is what it is" when faced with issues that confronted me. People who are rude, situations that didn't pan out and the seemingly random things that occurred. And for awhile, it was soothing.
But now, I find myself questioning the veracity of this way of life.
Shouldn't we strive for a better world? Shouldn't we expect more of people? Shouldn't we be rewarded for the sacrifices that we make? I know it creates a greater sense of anger, constantly fighting against the neutrality of this world. But for me, the alternative means giving up the fight for a better world.
And I think that fight is worth the pain.
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