I have expressed this view in the past - I don't think that suicide is a cowardly act.
I don't believe that the people who finally decide to take their own lives are doing it because they are selfish. In fact, they have been so courageous in fighting against it for so long. And in addition to that fight, they have also been doing their utmost to contain the effect that their depression can have on everyone else. These battles and the stresses that come with it are all-consuming and there is little respite from it. 24 hours of fighting and constantly thinking about ways to minimise its impact. Can you imagine the effort required?
And now, they are just weary - tired. Do you blame them? I don't.
Walk a mile in these shoes (as the saying goes) and then tell me that it is cowardly, selfish or any of the other similar platitudes regularly used by people who don't understand and who don't empathise. These platitude were really only designed to help those left behind to deal with the loss.
But don't try to convince me that these same platitudes apply to someone living with depression. They are really damaging to our psyche and can eat away at us. When used against us, it hurts more than helps. In my eyes, such platitudes only adds to the guilt and hopelessness that I am already trying my best to fight against.
Please think before you use these phrases on someone, because it can have the absolute opposite effect that you had intended. Instead, focus on the strength that we have - our internal lions that are constantly roaring and ferociously fighting against this disease in our silent internal battle. Pay grateful acknowledgement to that lion and respect it's decision to finally take its well deserved sleep.
18 March 2016
27 January 2016
Swing low, sweet chariot....
Recently I was telling someone that I was tired. Weary, actually. And it's not even the end of January yet! He misinterpreted what I said and thought I meant I was feeling depressed. It got me thinking - is there a difference between the two?
I am sure that feeling weary is a by-product of depression. But to me, feeling weary is different to feeling depressed. Here's how I see the differences:
When I feel weary, it means that I am tired. It means that (for whatever reason) I have used up all of my energy and that I am taxing my reserves as well. But that is not to say that I am ready to down tools and give up. For me, it just means that I need a break or a change to recharge. Once that happens, I am ready to keep going, to keep fighting the good fight. But when I feel depressed, I feel ready to down tools. No amount of rest or change in circumstances will refresh me. Feeling depressed doesn't necessarily mean that I feel tired. Just hopeless, that no matter what I do or how my circumstances change, I will continue to feel the same way. Nothing will change.
I am not sure if this is helpful, but I am still learning about what makes my mind tick. And if in some way, my random realisations help other along the way, then it was worth the effort!
I am sure that feeling weary is a by-product of depression. But to me, feeling weary is different to feeling depressed. Here's how I see the differences:
When I feel weary, it means that I am tired. It means that (for whatever reason) I have used up all of my energy and that I am taxing my reserves as well. But that is not to say that I am ready to down tools and give up. For me, it just means that I need a break or a change to recharge. Once that happens, I am ready to keep going, to keep fighting the good fight. But when I feel depressed, I feel ready to down tools. No amount of rest or change in circumstances will refresh me. Feeling depressed doesn't necessarily mean that I feel tired. Just hopeless, that no matter what I do or how my circumstances change, I will continue to feel the same way. Nothing will change.
I am not sure if this is helpful, but I am still learning about what makes my mind tick. And if in some way, my random realisations help other along the way, then it was worth the effort!
23 November 2015
Lights, camera - Action!
Recently, there has been an outpouring of support from people in general. All over the place - social media, newspapers - you name it. It's understandable, given the recent global events. But it got me thinking about how effective it really is.
Don't get me wrong - I am all for support. But action may also be required. Real action, not just cursory and superficial gestures.
The reason I write about this is because I see messages of support directed at people who suffer from mental illness. In Australia, we have Mental Health Week and R U OK Day. We have television programs to explain what mental health issues are and we get to see how it affects people. And just recently, I saw messages of support on social media urging people to re-tweet a post "in support of someone who suffers from depression".
I was a recipient of this urging. It both surprised and upset me.
I suffer from depression. Deep and consuming depression, which I have been managing for most of my life with a great deal of effort. And if you read this blog, you'll know that I have recently started to talk about it, to let people know and to see if my experiences can help someone who is suffering from depression so as not to feel alone, or to help the carer or loved one of a sufferer to understand some of what they are going through.
Whilst I acknowledge the best intentions of that tweet (and the urging for all and sundry, including myself to re-tweet), given my circumstances I couldn't help but wonder, particularly as I have not had any real dialogue about my depression with the requestor. Surely if they wanted to help someone, they can start with me!
Unfortunately, I feel as thought these messages of support are all cursory and superficial gestures, not backed up with proper action. To me, it appears to be "something to do" so that people can say that "they are doing something about it". All very useful to assuage any bourgeois guilt or to make someone feel better about themselves. But I feel as though they are missing the point.
By all means - rage against the unfairness of the world, the hatred and the callous violence. Rage against disease, whether it is mental or physical. But don't let your rage be hollow. Follow it up with meaningful action. If not, don't rage at all because it serves no one any real good.
Given the statistics, you'll know someone who suffers from mental illness. If you really want to support them, find them and let your actions speak louder than your social media status posts. Shouldn't they always, anyway?
Don't get me wrong - I am all for support. But action may also be required. Real action, not just cursory and superficial gestures.
The reason I write about this is because I see messages of support directed at people who suffer from mental illness. In Australia, we have Mental Health Week and R U OK Day. We have television programs to explain what mental health issues are and we get to see how it affects people. And just recently, I saw messages of support on social media urging people to re-tweet a post "in support of someone who suffers from depression".
I was a recipient of this urging. It both surprised and upset me.
I suffer from depression. Deep and consuming depression, which I have been managing for most of my life with a great deal of effort. And if you read this blog, you'll know that I have recently started to talk about it, to let people know and to see if my experiences can help someone who is suffering from depression so as not to feel alone, or to help the carer or loved one of a sufferer to understand some of what they are going through.
Whilst I acknowledge the best intentions of that tweet (and the urging for all and sundry, including myself to re-tweet), given my circumstances I couldn't help but wonder, particularly as I have not had any real dialogue about my depression with the requestor. Surely if they wanted to help someone, they can start with me!
Unfortunately, I feel as thought these messages of support are all cursory and superficial gestures, not backed up with proper action. To me, it appears to be "something to do" so that people can say that "they are doing something about it". All very useful to assuage any bourgeois guilt or to make someone feel better about themselves. But I feel as though they are missing the point.
By all means - rage against the unfairness of the world, the hatred and the callous violence. Rage against disease, whether it is mental or physical. But don't let your rage be hollow. Follow it up with meaningful action. If not, don't rage at all because it serves no one any real good.
Given the statistics, you'll know someone who suffers from mental illness. If you really want to support them, find them and let your actions speak louder than your social media status posts. Shouldn't they always, anyway?
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